Did you miss me? 

For the music; 

Did you miss me? I was gone last week. In a way really gone. So I gave myself permission to step away from a few things to quiet my mind and work through some grey skies. The last 2 weeks have been a dark place in my mind. I found myself revisiting old feelings and scratching at old wounds. When you start on a journey of self discovery you’re bound to hit a few bumps and that’s where I was. Funny enough, just on the other side of it has been 4 days of peace. 

I want to thank you for checkining back in and listening to my story. It is a comfort knowing you’re out there listening (reading) 

One of the things I beat myself up about is the amount of “things” I didn’t do in a given day. The ideas or opportunities I didn’t or haven’t seized. Feeling defeated when I don’t and uninspired when I do start on something. Last week I had a thought, how much am I really expected to do in a day? How much is ANYONE expected to complete each day? And who’s keeping score? Who am I holding this standard for? 

This has given me the ability to let go of some of the guilt and stress and be happy with what I do accomplish. 

Taking each day at a time, moment by moment. I have stumbled upon an app that has brought real awareness and mindfulness to my meditation. Just doing the practice sessions I feel has given me a sense of calm and presence in circumstances that before I would be confused by and angry. 

It feels slow going but I am seeing progress. I am turning my focus on my relationship with the things and tasks I am so consumed with doing. I figure I have a lot of things that I do and think about that I simply started one day without knowing it. I just do and think them cause, that’s what I do. Like I am programed. But I have never really examined them why they’re part of me. Once I know their importance to me and why I do it, It will be like riding a bike. I won’t need to wonder how, when, or who. It’s just part of you, like riding a bike. 

Ok I feel I am rambling and I am feeling really claustrophobic sitting in my studio writing this. So I hope you’re awesome right at this very moment! And until next time…… 


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